Thursday, December 10, 2015

Dang. So much for scouts' honor...



I completely forgot to post photos of my gorgeous new bath towels and "finished" bathroom. The quotation marks refer to the hideous wall tile that remains in our bathroom in Brooklyn. I sometimes wonder if other people feel as emotionally assaulted by interior design as I do. Is this a normal response or am I overly sensitive the horrors of cheap tiling and preposterously wide grout lines? Is it just me? Because I'm offended. Literally. I AM OFFENDED BY MY WALL TILE. Like, the inconsideration?!? Who in their right mind, if they've got any regard to the people around them, would put that much space between each tile?! And of all the tiles on earth, you chose the one that always looks dirty? Was that a plan?? It's kind of like every time I walk in my bathroom, my landlord is whispering, "Fu#% you, Christina." Quietly, almost imperceptibly, but I hear him. He's like the ghost of Christmas past, clanking around my bathroom. What a dick. 


So we've finally replaced the gruesome floor tile and dismantled the wretched sink vanity, and so the last step will be dealing with the god awful wall tile, which we're postponing until after the New Year, because there's some risk involved. Risk you say? Not a word typically associated with bathroom tile, but it's true. Our plan is to paint our bathroom tile with Rust-O-Leum's "Bathroom Tile Epoxy" which is supposedly indestructible and will withstand the endless amount of showering and bathing that goes on in our house. (Don't get me started about how much I resent showering. It's such a profound waste of time. If it wasn't for the fact that my hair is a snarled, curly nightmare every morning, I would give it the skip altogether.) According to the numerous reviews I read of this stuff, it holds up over time and actually looks pretty freaking good. And god knows--our current tile is so unremarkable/offensive, virtually anything would be an improvement. Except peeling paint. So cross your fingers for us. 

So the plan is to wait until after the New Year because we've got AirBnb-ers staying in our apartment while we go on vacation, and the last thing I want while I'm on vacation is an email from a distressed Australian family that my bathroom wall tile is peeling and the whole thing has turned into a hideous mess. So I figure we'll wait until we get back, and then if it turns out it's a total disaster, we'll just do what we probably should have done from the beginning and re-tile the whole bloody thing. My attitude on this is essentially win-win. If the tile paint works: Terrific. No more looking at that dingy, always dirty looking tile! If the tile paint doesn't work: Great too, because we will have eliminated all other options and there will be no way to deny or postpone re-tiling our bathroom once and for all. 


Have I mentioned that we've lived in this apartment for 11 years? That I've lived with this resentment for 11 years? This hatred and hostility of 11 years? That's a long time. The upshot of this interior design sensitivity/psychosis is that once something is improved, I'm also jubilant every time we make one of these improvements-- far more so than your average joe. So at least that characteristic is a silver lining we can look forward to once we've painted over that hideous tile... 😬
  

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